Post November 6th: Conservative Catholic Beatitudes


The term Beatitude comes from the Latin adjective beatus which means happy, fortunate, or blissful. During the 2012 presidential campaign, I endured a barrage of conservative Catholic rhetoric, much of it emanating from episcopal lips. Today, in thanksgiving for the events of November 6th, I offer my conservative Catholic friends some words of encouragement as we all continue the journey forward. I have eleven beatitudes to memorialize the eleventh month of this year when our country and our church entered a new era.

Blissful are those who do not think, for they shall be known as orthodox.

Fortunate are the laity who don’t speak out, for they shall be known as obedient sheep.

Happy are the laity who do speak out, for they shall be known as trouble-makers.

Happy are bishops who don’t speak out, for they shall be known as sons of the Church.

Happy are the bishops who do speak out, for they shall be known as quickly retired.

Fortunate are the clerics who don’t speak out, for they shall be known as survivors.

Happy are the clerics who do speak out, for they shall be known as laity.

Happy are the nuns with a public voice, for they shall be known as radical feminists.

Fortunate are the meek bishops, for they shall be known as rare.

Happy are progressive Catholics, for they shall be known as dreaming reformers.

Blissful are “reformers of the reform,” their’s is a lasting place in fundamentalist fantasy.

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